My terrible neighbor

I’ve got this terrible kid in my neighborhood named Donnie King. He’s always getting into trouble and lying and blaming other people for things he did. He’s straight-up trouble. For some reason the neighborhood association elected him head of the neighborhood watch. He ran again this year, but luckily he lost – barely. I don’t understand why so much of the neighborhood likes him. Let me give you some examples.

First of all there are lots of times he’s been caught lying. He lies about great things he’s done and lies about not doing the bad things. He lies about grades he’s getting in school and how everyone likes him. He lies about the job he’s doing protecting the neighborhood, and if you try to confront him with evidence where someone witnesses him doing wrong (in person) he just says that they are the liar and that he’s going to report them to the association. He’s had a bunch of little girlfriends in the neighborhood (which is also a mystery to me, because he looks like he was beaten with “the ugly stick,”) but he always cheats on these girls. His most recent girlfriend still puts up with him even though he was caught kissing another girl in an alley. He paid that girl $5 to be quiet about it, but she told everyone anyway.

One of the worst things he has done was spreading strep throat. He had strep throat earlier this year, but when anyone asked him about the coughing, he just said it was allergies and that it would go away on it’s on pretty soon. He knew it was strep throat, but he didn’t care to protect the people he was around. Well, we had a minor epidemic of strep throat cases, and at least half of the neighborhood knows he was the cause. I just don’t understand why he is so popular with the other half. I guess it’s because he’s got a way with words and he’s convinced people that he’s going to keep the kids from the other side of the tracks out of the neighborhood, but they’re not really a problem. They’re just looking for work mowing lawns and walking dogs. At any rate I’m glad he lost, but I will always be confused that he barely lost. The vote was 71 for Donnie and 76 for the new head of the neighborhood watch, Joey. I’m so glad Joey’s taking over. Thank you for reading my 29th blog.

Mark Inglis

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