Today is my 46th birthday, and I can honestly say that it feels just like any other day. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the birthday wishes and gifts from loved ones and friends, but internally, today just feels like any other day. At 46 I’m no longer excited about my birthday, but I’m not old enough to dread it either. At 46 there’s no new privilege that I didn’t already have. At 46 there’s less energy rather than more. At 46 I’m at an age that teen-age me would have considered old, but that present tense me feels completely comfortable with.
When I consider all the places I’ve lived, and places I’ve visited, and how old my children are now, it feels like I’ve been on the planet this long, but when I think of the day by day progression of life with a breakfast, lunch, and dinner each day, it doesn’t seem like I’ve done that over 16,000 times! I sometimes wonder what it would be like to know what day we’re going to die. Would I get more done or less? Would it energize me toward action or make me fear the passage of time? I know for a fact that my life is at least half way done now, and possibly even 2/3 of the way done (assuming the unexpected doesn’t get me sooner), and this realization has not really affected me one way or the other. There’s probably still a lot of breakfast, lunch, and dinners coming. In a way, my age is like my salvation. I’m at an age where I’m content with things, just like my certainty of Heaven makes me content with things. My age and my salvation almost make me lazy at times. I’m 46, I can get stuff done tomorrow. And as a Christian… I’m going to live forever in paradise when I die. Does it really matter if the yard looks nice this week?
Thank you for reading my 58th blog.